Tooey the Too

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Tooey the Too

Postby nearyme on Thu Aug 21, 2008 2:41 am

Hi,
I don't know if anyone remembers me and Tooey, my umbrella. I have come here on and off for years, mainly off the past few years. Tooey is 12 years old now. I've had him since he was 5 months old. He is doing well and beautiful. I wish I had some pictures of him to show you. He screams though and that is a huge issue at our house. I don't mean just the normal screams of a happy cockatoo a few times to several times a day. He screams for attention at long intervals. It has been going on for 7 long years and my husband is at the end of his rope. He wants me to find a new home for Tooey. I understand how he feels. Tooey is awful with his screaming. I can tell you when it happens. He screams whenever anyone is leaving the house loudly and piercingly. He screams when there is a lot of activity in the house, and we have 2 active teens , 2 dogs and 2 cats so that is fairly often. He screams when I leave the room and go anywhere else in the house. The past few years I began working nightshift and I sleep during the day. He screams for long intervals while I am sleeping. I wear earplugs and have a sound machine so it doesn't keep me awake but I have lain there and listened to see how long he would go and he goes for sometimes an hour straight. I think he likes to do it and I think he is bored. He has a big cage and toys and is by a window and gets along well with the other pets but I can't keep him from being bored. It is worst on the weekends unfortunately when my husband is home. He screams constantly when my husband is home. I have tried lots of things, consulted behaviourists, tried ignoring him, taking him with me, contact calls. If it were just me I would put up with it but it is causing stress in my marriage. I have been looking online at parrot sanctuaries and it breaks my heart to see how many sanctuaries are full of cockatoos. I want so much for Tooey. I want him to have a huge home with lots of time outdoors in a safe setting, good food and a flock. I honestly don't think a human can give him all he needs. Not that he should be in a breeding situation but in a home that is peaceful with other birds to hang out with. Is this vision realistic? But then I wonder if I can't stand the screaming how can anyone else stand it. And will it ever stop?
So that is the issue. Several years ago I posted about this on here and I recieved some good advice and tried to work with him. I also recieved a lashing from someone who said it was my fault for creating the problem so I should live with it. I take full responsibility for Tooey but I also have to honor my husband. I just think that cockatoos like to scream. It is easy for them to become habitual screamers and as someone who didn't have any previous large bird experience I probably unintentionally reinforced the behaviour.
He's still a really sweet bird though and I love him anyway.
Mary and Tooey


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  • Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby ZazuSally on Thu Aug 21, 2008 6:19 am

    Mary, you need to jon the PBAS list on Yahoo. There you can fill in a behaviour form and eventually you will get a Threadleader to help you with the screaming problem. This will be no quick fix but with hard work, the screaming can be reduced to acceptable levels and replaced with more acceptable vocalizations. Just be patient because all the Threadleaders are volunteers and it may take some time to get one. In the meantime, there are files you can read that might help. The best thing would be to replace the screaming with a more acceptable vocalization so you need to find something you find acceptable like singing. He can't scream and sing at the same time. Don't try ignoring/extinction. You have to really, really know what you are doing for that one to work. Does he have lots of things to do? Do you spend dedicated time with him either playing games or training a few trick behaviours. You would be amazed at how a few tricks can go a long way.

    The PBAS list has had many success stories with screaming parrots. The successful ones belong to people who are not looking for a quick fix but are willing to put in the time and dedication it will take to turn this around. Will your husband cooperate and help because that will be very important.


    Bev

    PS: Just Google PBAS list on Yahoo.
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby ZazuSally on Thu Aug 21, 2008 6:23 am

    Mary, this can be turned around. It really can. Don't give up on him. You can do this with the help of the PBAS group.

    I'm serious. I have 3 parrots (1 goffin, 2 greys) in a 1 bedroom apartment. Zazu does some yelling but nothing I would call a scream. The behaviour has gotten away from you but it can be changed. I've seen it done over and over again. There is a light at the end of the tunnel. Please go to the PBAS list and get a Threadleader.

    Bev
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby nearyme on Thu Aug 21, 2008 7:37 am

    I just went and joined the PBAS group. I would like to solve the issue. I don't want to have to find a new home for Tooey. Also I don't want to pass the problem on. I worry about what would happen to him. I hope that I can convince my husband to get onboard with retraining. He really is burned out with Tooey and doesn't have much tolerance for him right now. He thinks Tooey has ruined the peace of our home. He also thinks he has damaged the hearing of our children. He would never make me get rid of Tooey but it has created a wedge in our relationship that is difficult to deal with.
    Thankyou for the hopeful words.
    Mary
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby ZazuSally on Thu Aug 21, 2008 9:00 am

    Do something really nice for your husband. Even if you don't feel like it, do it anyway. You need him on board if this is to be a success and you have to give him credit for hanging in there. He just needs to understand that any time an animal presents unwanted behaviour, we have caused it. Until we stop blaming the bird and look to ourselves for more effective ways to interact with our birds, behaviour problems are going to happen. The good news is we can turn it around. I'm not saying it will be easy in the beginning and it will take hard work but it will be so worth it in the end. Lee McGuire wrote a fantastic article for Good Bird on the success she had with Rockx who was a screamer. It is also in the Files of the PBAS list. Please look for it.

    Have you heard of Good Bird magazine. Please subscribe to it if you can. It is a fantastic magazine devoted to bird behaviour. Barb also has 3 DVDs out on parrot behaviour and training. Check out www.goodbirdinc.com

    Bev

    PS: I just want to say that your husband clearly is angry and hurt about the situation. Cut him some slack but he really needs to understand it is not Tooey's fault. Tooey is not screaming on purpose to hurt you. Tooey's needs are not being met. PBAS will help you find ways to meet those needs as well as the needs of your family. Did your husband ever like Tooey? How do your kids feel about Tooey?
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby Bluesbird Exotics on Thu Aug 21, 2008 10:17 am

    Kudos to you for signing up for PBAS so quickly. That shows how determined you are to find a better way. As you talk with your husband and kids about the changes needed, one point follows closely on your answers to Bev's questions about whether your husband and kids ever liked Tooey. If they did not, your hurdle is higher. But if they did, ask them to remember back to that time and to make every effort to act as if those feelings of affection still exist. Tooey reacts at an emotional level to the loss of affection, with no realization that he's done anything to cause it, or deserve it.

    One way to think about it is the feeling too many of us have when we're around someone, such as an in-law, who we know dislikes us. The conflict feels irresolvable, yet we must continue to endure their company as long as we, they, and the marriage lasts. It's a sad feeling that often leads to passive aggressive behavior because we chaff at being disliked, but don't dare speak up for fear of making things worse.

    As Tooey's screaming has alienated his flockmates, I feel certain Tooey feels it and screams more and louder in protest. Change now will depend on your human family's willingness to be heroes, as Dr Phil puts it, to be willing to stop the circular pattern of the reactions by changing their own behavior in hopes that will help Tooey change his. It will take Tooey awhile to realize they've changed, and he'll test to see if the changes are real and longlasting. But if he feels renewed interest, he'll have SUCH a better chance of changing in the ways all of you want.

    One technique for showing renewed interest is for each family member to begin the habit of singing out "HI TOOEY!" as soon as they step through the door each time they return home, even if they just ran out to grab the newspaper. You might put a note outside the door, right beside the knob, saying PLEASE GREET TOOEY! as a reminder. It will feel silly and forced at first, but as Tooey realizes the pattern and begins to anticipate his greeting, his scream will change from the annoying sound to one of excitement. And his genuine excitement will help your family appreciate him and the effort they're each making for him to be able to stay, peacefully.

    Good luck!
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby nearyme on Fri Aug 22, 2008 1:13 am

    Thanks so much for all of your support. Yes my husband and kids love Tooey. The kids especially do not want to see Tooey go. But they get frustrated too. My husband is a very patient man. He is not an animal person but has put up with me for the last 20 years. Dogs, Cats, Birds. various rodents, frogs ect. Right now we have 2 dogs, 2 cats and Tooey. We are very committed to our pets and they get good care. At night we have dogs and cats in our bed. ect....Tooey loves my husband. Pat is good with him. He puts him to bed, in his sleep cage when I am at work and gets him up in the morning. He cares for him when I am out of town. He can actually do more with Tooey because he is not intimidated by him. I have gone through times of being intimidated by Tooey but right now I am not. I told him we are going to try this behaviour modification and he is open to it but we have tried things before so he is not 100% hopeful that Tooey will change but he is willing to give it a try. Pat has never told me I have to get rid of Tooey. But he has threatened to build a cabin for himself out back where he can get peace and quiet and that makes me feel bad that he would be forced to do that because of a choice that I made to get a pet that is so disruptive.
    What I need to know right now until I hear back and get rolling with the behavior mod is how should we respond when he screams. Right now I either say SHHHH or NO! or someone loses it and screams Shut Up! I know this is bad and then Tooey seems to get a rise out of it because he raises his crest and wings and hops up and down. It is really out of control but we have been doing this for years and have kind of gotten discouraged. I have tried the extinction of behavior by not responding and praising his when he is either quiet or talking nice. I have also given him time out in a spare bedroom where he screams his head off but we just close the door. It also seems that the more attention I give him the more he becomes demanding. One challenge is that this summer we have had the worst weather and that in combination with my work schedule means he hasn't gotten outside as much as he does most summers. We live in Alaska so summer is his only hope of going outside on his perch. Last summer we did a lot of outdoor work on the house and we would take him out with us which he seemed to like for awhile until he became restless and squawky.
    I am being kind of long winded here but I feel like the more I explain the better you will understand and be able to suggest what might be the problem.
    Thankyou again so much
    Mary
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby ZazuSally on Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:02 am

    Mary, you need to come up with several treats that Tooey loves. These are primary reinforcers. Take those out of his regular diet and only give them to him for good behaviour. Very small pieces like a piece of almond or pine nut. My birds will do anything for a pine nut. Now what you have to do is find an alternative acceptable vocalization and reinforce the heck out of that. For example, Tooey can't scream if he is singing. Make sure that he has lots of stuff to do and start some fun training with him. His attention tank might be low. A short one-on-one training session. You can teach him to turn around, or high 5 and the kids can get involved. This is fun stuff. When he makes any other noise that you find acceptable and at a decibel that doesn't blow your eardrums out, reinforce the hell out of it. Give him a treat and praise him exuberantly. You do this enough times and Tooey will get that screaming gets him nothing but singing or another quieter vocalization gets him things that he values, ie a piece of nut. These birds are very, very smart. They catch on quick. Tooey just needs to learn an acceptable way to get his needs met without screaming the house down.

    I can send you some articles I wrote for Good Bird. Just PM your e-mail address and I will send them from home either tonight or tomorrow. I don't have any screaming ones because I've never had to deal with a screaming bird but I've had biting issues. Behaviour is behaviour.

    We are going to turn this around Mary and that is fantastic about your husband and kids. The kids will love training and some of those tricks are very easy to train. Get Barb's DVD's. The first one is on training easy behaviours.

    Bev
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby ZazuSally on Fri Aug 22, 2008 7:07 am

    PS: Extinction is not the way to go unless you have a degree. LOL If the behaviour is reinforced just one time that puts it on an intermittent schedule like gambling and we all know how difficult that is to change.

    No, the best way is to replace is with another acceptable vocalization. A quieter sound like a whisper or singing.

    Bev

    PS: Mary, the problem isn't Tooey. He's just being a bird. The problem is humans. It always is something that we do. Changing Tooey's behaviour is more about changing your behaviour and I don't mean that in an unkind way. What I've learned in Applied Behaviour Analysis is that it was more about changing my behaviour than it was about my birds. I am amazed every day at the relationship I have with my birds, Mary. You can have this too. It will require hard work and dedication but the rewards are unbelievable. There is no such thing as a quick fix, Mary when it comes to changing behaviour but it can 100% be done. I've seen it over and over again even with my own birds. Zazu my goffin used to yell when she wanted something. I taught her to say "ha-ha" in under 5 minutes. That's what she says now when she wants something.

    Bev
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby petdiva on Fri Aug 22, 2008 12:39 pm

    I'm kind of late to the topic, but you have been getting lots of good advice from Bev and Bluebird. Since you and your family still love Tooey and are willing to work at changing the screaming behavior, I feel encouraged that it can be done. We all go through difficult times with our birds so don't feel like you're alone.

    I did think of a couple ideas while you are waiting for the mod to contact you. I've heard that whispering to your bird when it is screaming will sometimes help. The bird wants to know what you are saying, and it may stop screaming so that it can listen. Some birds may even start whispering. My birds love it when I sing to them. (I'm a horrible singer.) I sing Old MacDonald Had a Duck and Take Me Out to the Ball Game, among others. They bob and dance around and try to sing along. I occasionally hear one of my Greys sing, "Quack here, quack there," when I am in another room.

    Some cockatoos really get into tricks. I think part of it is that we are spending quality time with our birds. If you look online, you can find props like roller skates. Your kids would probably get a kick out of helping you teach Tooey to roller skate and do other tricks like that.

    I agree that you should always acknowledge Tooey with a greeting when you come home or walk by the cage. It may help him feel like you are giving him attention. I always yell out a hello when I get home. My birds usually greet me with a hello when I walk in the door, and we also say "Goodbye, see you later" when I leave. My Grey is so smart that when he hears the keys jingle, he will start saying goodbye. I chat a lot with my birds as I am doing things around the house. I think it makes them feel like they are getting attention, even though they are still in their cages.
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby nearyme on Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:05 am

    I tried some of the suggestions today that were offerred like talking to him when we come in and out. He does like pine nuts. His favorite treat is almonds in the shell but that seems to big for trick training. I realize that it is going to take a long time to undo the screaming behavior but do you have suggestions on how to respond when he screams when we leave the house or go in another room. He starts bouncing up and down first and then screaming. It is very ingrained. Should I ignore it or try to redirect him. It would really help in the short term if I had a plan of how to deal with that because that is what is really driving the family insane. I call to him and try whispering ect but he still does it.
    Thanks for all your help.
    Mary
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby Bluesbird Exotics on Sat Aug 23, 2008 6:51 am

    nearyme wrote:... suggestions on how to respond when he screams when we leave the house or go in another room. He starts bouncing up and down first and then screaming. It is very ingrained...


    Just to be sure we understand your situation, is the family bothered by the noise Tooey makes when YOU leave home, leaving them to hear his screams? And when you go to another room, is it to cook dinner, watch tv, sleep, potty, or all of these?

    Distraction can work well 'til it becomes too routine to be interesting. Meaning, that almond in the shell could work for awhile. A new toy, or one you've removed for awhile so he's excited to see it again. For some birds, going back into the cage can be less distressing if you've first woven a piece of newspaper or leafy branch through the bars for him to remove. Do you have any mimosa or forsythia or butterfly bush in your yard that haven't been treated with chemicals? Those have flexible newer branches that work well for weaving.

    I have a variety of portable stands so I can move my birds around. 'Toos are the hardest bird to keep where you want them, but some stands work for awhile. My most 'too-safe are tall, 4-5', with just food bowls, which I fill with foot toys that are tied with rawhide to the perch so they don't hit the floor immediately. I use the stands for quick trips to other rooms, while I'm in the laundry room or putting birdie meals together. I usually take a bird with me to the bathroom 8) The shower rod works great while I'm brushing my teeth :wink: For watching tv, 'toos are great for missing the best lines, so mute the tv first so you'll be able to read along :roll: I would imagine hearing his flock together in another room would be torment for poor Tooey, so tv watching might be one of your hardest problems. Maybe Bev will have some good ideas.
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby ZazuSally on Sat Aug 23, 2008 11:30 am

    Mary, I'm being taken out for my birthday tonight (it's tomorrow) so I'll get back to you with a response either later tonight or tomorrow. Right now I'm supposed to be doing the housework. LOL

    There absolutely are things you can do now.

    Bev
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby nearyme on Sat Aug 23, 2008 1:47 pm

    To further clarify the situation. Tooey screams when the family begins getting ready to go out. As you know how smart they are he can tell we are getting ready to go somewhere and first he shows his excitement/agitation/ anticipation by bouncing up and down and running his beak against the perch bars(anyone esle's Too do this?) That almost always precedes the screams which then come and are loud and ear peircing. You can imagine that with us trying to all get out of the house and the screaming it can become very frazzling. He also screams when I go to the bathroom or in the other room, even for a minute where it isn't practical to take him with me. Sometimes he even does this when we are all in the same room and he is there but he is bored. The bouncing is irritating to me because it means he is agitated and the screaming is iminent. When he is in this state giving him a toy or a treat often won't do anything for him. Often there is nothing I can do to satisfy him. Even taking him out of his cage. Sometimes he just seems to be restless and agitated. Hormones?
    Mary
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    Re: Tooey the Too

    Postby Bluesbird Exotics on Sat Aug 23, 2008 2:16 pm

    nearyme wrote:... He also screams when I go to the bathroom or in the other room, even for a minute where it isn't practical to take him with me...


    Just a different perspective, Mary, I make a special point to take a bird with me to the bathroom because it's such a quick trip. I feel it gives the bird a special treat at very little cost to me. Guffaws are allowed :mrgreen: I have a tall, skinny T-stand in the corner of the bathroom, just waiting for a bird, with a sheet of paper on the floor under it so there's no messy floor to regret. I give each bird a fair share of trips with mom out of the bird room. If you have shower doors, Tooey could prance along the top of them, having a great time :D You could even have a toy or 2 up there for him to throw. Maybe one of those super-bouncy balls since most bathrooms are small enough for the ball to keep going a while and be easy to keep in sight.

    Breaking old habits requires replacing the activities with new things. Little quick trips would give him a break from what's become monotony for him, if your guess is right about why he screams. Likewise, when you're all busily getting ready to leave might be a good time to put him on a tall stand in the room where you are, so he's part of the busyness, rather than abandoned to his cage while you're all excited in other rooms ... so close and yet so far! I realize it takes a special stand to keep a 'too from wandering, but they do make them. We might help you find a few if you don't have them already. Or the DH might prefer to make them if he's handy. MUCH cheaper that way and not hard.
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